Thursday, December 30, 2010
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia - E.L. Doctorow
I guess that this only adds to my idea that I am in fact, as the old people say, "off my rockers".
Now, when I say that I'm crazy, I don't mean that I'm crazy with some sort of mental illness. Mental illnesses are a sad and serious affair. No, I mean crazy in a social sort of way. People often tell me that I should change now, or risk never being able to interact with normal people. But, it makes me wonder, just exactly how many people consider themselves 'normal'? What exactly is the standard for normal. If everyone is born different and unique, then how could there be a standard for normal?
You see the truth is, everyone is a little crazy, even those people who think that they aren't. Ever since we were able to make social connections, we tend to find people that we have things in common with and befriend them. We replicate this all through out our lives, and it is from this that we judge what's normal or not. To if we are honest with ourselves, we've never met anyone who is exactly like us. Sure, we may have a lot in common with somebody, but we're never exact. And as such, as long as we are ourselves, we'll always be less that normal, which is a good thing. Being 'normal' mean copying someone. When you're crazy, at least you and everyone else in the world knows that you're being yourself.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Now I get why people would be apprehensive about their future. Who wouldn't want to know what problems they're going to run into along the way, how to avoid them, what exactly is coming on that extremely hard exam, and exactly where and when to be so that you could catch that 'particular' person's attention. But what about along the other things? What about those days when you feel as if it's the worst day of your life, and suddenly something wonderful happens? Would you really want to ruin every happy surprise you have for the year? And what about those problems that turn out to be blessings in disguise? Would you want to avoid those?
Personally, I wouldn't want a cheat sheet for the next year of my life. I want to dive in and enjoy the pain and the joy equally. I want to embrace my surprises and face my problems with a grin. They are what make me a better person (e.g. NaNoWriMo). I don't need to know what happens in 2011. That's pretty much up to God. I can try to point my life in the direction that I want it to go, but if things don't work out the way I want, I won't be overly worried. Life is meant to be lived to its fullest, and that's what I intend to do.
See you tomorrow!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Here, he didn't talk about tour stuff or try to promote his group. He talked about his childhood antics, his adult problems and all his little problems and inconsistencies, even randomly funny posts that had no real plot. He wrote his blog almost the same way I would, just because he wanted to write. I usually don't go fan crazy over any band, because sooner or later the person behind the music comes out with some kind of celebrity drama and you find that they're completely different from who thought. But here was Adam Young, a shy Minnesota boy, barring his soul for the world to see.
The post that convinced me that this was the real Adam, and not some underpaid ghost writer, was a post entitled, "Deep Regret". In it, he describes his theory of "Deep Regret" as the feel that you get when an extremely beautiful girl passes you by and you are far too nervous and/or stunned to do anything. The moment passes and the girl leaves and you are left, forever wondering or thinking about what could have been. And to reinforce the idea, he gave an example of an occasion while on tour when this exact thing happened to him. Every celebrity I've ever heard of like to talk about how easy it is to get with girls and how popular they are with the ladies, never about how nervous or tongue tied they get around them. The words he used, made me for a second forget that he was a famous musician. It was almost as if I had stumbled across a fellow blogger. He didn't describe the girl as a object of sexual desire, avoiding such words as 'sexy' or 'hot'. He was respectful, painting a picture of a beautiful person. After reading it, I felt as if I understood him and what he was talking about. I felt as if I had connected with him somehow, for someone who I have never met.
The other thing that made me fall even more in love with his blog was the fact that he wasn't ashamed to share his faith. Being an extremely popular artists with number one hits all around the world did not make him feel the need to hide what he believed. In a post named "My Hope Is Found", he talks about Christianity explicitly, not in a way as to shove religion down someone's throat, but calmly and gently, almost as if he were talking to himself. He even covered an old Christian hymn, and posted it there.
I never thought I'd say this about a celebrity, but I want to be like Adam Young. I want to reach for the stars but never move my feet off the ground. I want to be able to be the biggest and best there is and still retain the ability to relate to everyday people. And I never want to be ashamed of what I believe. I wonder that if more artists were like him, if the entire yellow journalism debacle that Hollywood breeds would affect our lives a lot less and bring some positives instead of the folly we see daily. Keep at it Adam. You've made a fan out of me.
See you tomorrow!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Mainstream music, according to Wikipedia, " denotes music that is familiar and unthreatening to the masses". Now, at first glance, to me, this doesn't look like something bad. We love to familiar and you really can't enjoy a piece of music if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But many see mainstream as a bad thing. Mainstream is what the media feeds the masses and what everyone eats up without thinking about it. Music written with four chords, music that can be played with no real skill and lyrics written with the intention of making money.To counter this, most people turn to subcultures. Punk rock, underground hip hop, heavy metal and the like. Anything else is considered the accursed "mainstream" reserved for people who have crappy tastes in music.
But really, why does mainstream have such a bad name. Sure, it may not take as much skill to play an alternative song as it does to one of another more complex genre, but does that really make the song any better? If I were the best cook in the world, and I skillfully made a really crappy dish, would it be any better that a simple cook, who used regular ingredients and methods to make something that was actually worth eating? Just because something isn't hard to do, doesn't make the end product any less valuable. And then there's the issue of lyrics, and I must agree, some lyrics are repeated over and over again. But let's be honest, if we sing about the same things over and over, we're going to run out of ways to say it. Of course there are always other ways to say things, but being a writer I understand that sometimes the idea is lost in convoluted words. Sometimes the best words are the simplest.
As for the artists that write and sing music just for the money, you'll know who those are. Art is an expression of the soul. While I'd admit some of the more popular music is written just for profit, not all are. If you can feel the artist in their music then they're obviously not doing it for monetary gain.
There are many other reasons why people may pick one kind of music or the other, the likes of which can make a debate that I could write forever about and never resolve. I'm saying that subcultured music is bad. People have all kinds of tastes, and if that is what you like then by all means, listen to it. But don't write of 'mainstream' music as being crappy. You just may miss some really beautiful songs when you aren't looking.
See you tomorrow!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The idea that a world besides our own always captivated me. Whether it be something as simple a storybook kingdom or something as life-altering as religion, I've also like the idea that somewhere, somehow, there are other people, maybe like us or not at all like us, that think and dream and imagine, just like we do.
Life isn't for dreamers, or so we've been told again and again. Dreamers have no place in the real world, where things don't work out ideally. Make-believe doesn't pay the bills and and dreams don't put food on the table. And that is quite right. If all you do is sit around and imagine, you'll never be able to accomplish anything. The people who change the world, are those who actually got up and did things. Action drives the world forward.
But using this logic, people think that they should altogether abandon dreams. Logic and reason are the order of the day. But what few people seem to understand is that true change comes about from a mixture of both. Action with out dreams is like a gun that you can't aim. Dreams without actions is like aiming without a gun. Only a fusion of the two and truly bring forth great things.
Never forget your dreams, no matter how impossible or childish they may seem. No matter what people may say about it, every single dream is invaluable. Hold on to it, until it is fulfilled. Who knows? Maybe you'll be able to turn it into box office hit one day.
See you tomorrow!!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
See you tomorrow!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The thing that I wanted to talk about though isn't the show itself, but it's opening sequence. The opening song is called "Inner Universe" by Origa, which is a pretty haunting song by any measure. As it plays, a video montage of clips is shown. One clip shows a doll in the hand of a little girl. The girl's hand quivers and suddenly squeezes and crushes the doll. It breaks into pieces and falls to the ground. The scene switches and it's revealed that was a dream by the shows main character. The next clip features the same character taking on an armed tank-like weapon. You can watch it here to have better understanding.
I'm pretty sure that you have no clue what I just spoke about, and to be honest, I didn't understand it myself the first time I saw it. But as I watched the show, I came to understand what it meant. The main character had lost her limbs in a childhood accident, and was forced to replace them with robotic prosthetics. However, being young and unable to control them, she broke and destroyed several things, including her favorite doll. As she grew older, she learnt to use them more efficiently to the point where she became a virtuoso.
You always here people saying that you'll never achieve great things if we don't take great risks. And we do take great risks. But somethings, they don't work out, and we end up ruining the things that are precious to us. We come to fear our own power and decide never to dare try something like that again. But if we never try, we'll never get better. We'll never see the extent of our power and what we're capable of. Sometimes we crash and burn and vow never to drive again. But if we dare to push forward, we'd learn that we could not only drive, but we can soar.
See you tomorrow!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
People attribute this special spirit to various things. Some say that it's the magic that comes from the holiday itself, the stuff that gives birth to elves and flying reindeer. Some say that it the joy that come with knowing that this was the time that God sent His Son to earth to save us (despite this being scripturally incorrect). Some say that it's the indigestion that comes from eating an abundance of Christmas food. Whatever it is, we've all felt it at sometime or the other. Unless of course you have green fur and live in a cave on a snowflake. And for everyone who didn't get that reference, you need to watch more Christmas movies.
But what is this magical Christmas time. Well I think the answer to that is less magical than one would assume, at the same time a great more magical. We all feel the need to happy at Christmas time. Ever since we were children, our parents and those around us foster the excitement that comes with this time of year. From the various Christmas parties we attended to waking up Christmas morning to open parents, it has been taught to us from a young age to look forward to this time of the year.
And why shouldn't we? All year we've been struggling along the roller coaster that life is. It's relief that at least once for the year, at the very end to just relax and give it all up. No matter what we are going through at the time, we can't help but feel happy. We've made it through another year, and we have a next one to look forward to. It's like the life of a phoenix. We burst into flames of joy at Christmas time to be reborn to face a new year. It's the fact that we have something to look forward to, and something to look back on the makes us happy. And imagine everyone in the world, feeling the exact same way. It's the fact that almost all of humanity, even if it's just for a few days, can unite in happiness. Old pains are forgotten and new bonds are forged. Everyone is joined by an invisible thread that binds us in this join. And that is the Christmas spirit. Not some supernatural force, but unity that no world leader could ever hope to achieve. And that in itself is a supernatural force. Enjoy the season everyone. You deserve it.
See you all tomorrow. And Merry Christmas!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Now, for those of you who know me in real life, you'd know that I'm not the fittest guy in the world. I don't jog very much, or undertake any type of extensive exercise. Still, I was able to walk around the 1 mile track 3 times. Pretty good for an out of shape guy, right? My dad on the other hand, a fifty something year old guy, managed to make 5 laps in that time, not just jogging, but running. Upstaged by an old guy. Just peachy.
I was about ready to give up by the end of my third lap. My dad handed me the car keys and said that he was going to make another lap. By this time, other people we coming to the track. Not wanting to look like a total noob sitting in the car while everyone else was exercising, I decided to make another lap, just to take up time. I walked for a minute or two and then stopped. Off in the distance, I could see my dad round the bend in the track. Then a crazy idea flew into my head: I wonder if I could catch up to him? Yes, me, the guy was a ready to give up two seconds ago, decided that he was going to run. And so I did.
At first, nothing happened. My muscles were sufficiently warmed up from walking so the muscles in my legs didn't start screaming as I thought they would. In fact, it felt kind of good. I jogging at a significant pace, making good time. I was on top of the world. This happy, joyous feeling lasted all of 50 seconds. The first thing that went was my chest. The muscles started tightening, making breathing a little harder. Then my abs started aching. At this time, a little voice in my head started wondering exactly why again it was that I was doing this. Then the lungs started to ache. Breathing became extremely difficult, coming in and going out in painful short, sharp gasps. I could hear my pulse thudding in my ears. I could feel my calf muscles begin to burn. The voice in my head was no screaming for me to stop. I looked up and I saw my dad, nearer than I thought he would be. "I could do this." I told myself. I could reach him. I drew what reserve strength I had, and ran up to meet him.
By then, he probably had realized that his crazy out of shape son was charging to towards him, making sounds that feel somewhere between and steam engine and an angry bull. He slowed down and began walking so that I could matching his pace. I slowed down, blowing hard. I felt like throwing up. "That was pretty good," he told me, "considering the fact that I had started off running before you did." I looked back, and I kinds shocked myself. I had manged to run a third of the track, without stopping. I felt sort of proud, seeing as how the closes thing I had come to exercise in while was writing a novel. I f someone had told me that I would be able to run that far, I would have told them that they were crazy. But here I was, proving myself wrong.
As we walked back to the car, I noticed a guy with a walking stick and a large belt around his waist. He walked slowly and awkwardly, but was dressed in a complete jogger's outfit. "He come here every morning," my dad said as I looked at him. "He's injured, but every day, he manages to make at least three laps." I thought about that, and wondered if people who knew him told him he was crazy when he first decided to go jogging. I'm pretty sure even he had his doubts about whether or not he could have done it. Heck, if I had an injury like that, I'd probably use it as an excuse never to leave the house. . But here, this guy was actually doing it.
I guess that if I hadn't decided to start running or that guy hadn't decided to go to the jogging track regularly, neither of us would have known what we were capable of. Inside each and every one of us is the ability to do unbelievably great things. But if we never try to do them, we'd never know that we could do them. We all have some hidden potential. So think about that one thing you know you can't do, and then go do it. You'd be surprised at just how much you can achieve.
See you tomorrow!!!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Needless to say, as kids, my sisters and I didn't get out a lot. Sure we talked to the neighbors and played with their kids, but our parents would never let us go over to their houses, and I always thought that to be strange. Now I know why. And I'm glad they did that. The people on this street are some kind of weird. We usually stay out of everyone business and they stay out of ours. And plus, the people you grow up with and lived next to all your life really don't have it out for you.
Yesterday, when my dad was running an errand for my mom, a bunch of the neighbors kids, the oldest probably being not even five years old, accosted him with a bazillion questions. My dad's a friendly guy, so he took his time and answered them. Among the questions were "Where are you mother and father?"
"Well," my dad replied, "They're both dead." Now if you expected the kids to ask, something like "Really?" or "How did they die?" or "When did they die?" or something like that, you'd be thinking the exact same thing that I was. And you, like me would be wrong. The first thing these kids asked was, "Who killed them?" Even my dad was a taken aback by that one.
But I guess that should have been expected, right? These kids grow up in world were people die violently and suddenly, where arguments begin simply and grow to a crescendo and that could end in a gunshot or stabbing. It's not that these kids have been grown up badly. It's just what they know. And that made me realize something. That what may seem to be normal to us today, won't be normal tomorrow. We like to think that humanity deep down is noble, and that we'd always do the right thing, but that's not true. Our morals slide everyday and we move further and further away from what we deem to be right. Our children and their children would probably be doing things that horrify us, all because they think what they're doing is right. I guess that is the legacy that humanity leaves behind. That is the sign of the times.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
I really really like Japanese stuff. Their music, their anime, their technology, amongst other things. The other day, I came across a video about the Japanese art of kintsugi or "golden joinery" when translated into English. Kintsugi is the art of using lacquer made of precious metals, primarily gold, to repair broken pottery and ceramics. Most mending prectices attempt to cover up the cracks in the broken pottery, but kintsugi does the opposite. It flaunts them. The broken object is joined together so skillfully by that you can barely see how barely it was broken. All that can be seen is the beauty of the gold seems racing through it, as if Zeus of myth had hurled a golden lightening bolt through it. In fact it is so beautiful that some Japanese art collectors have been accused of purposefully breaking priceless ceramics to have them repaired with kintsugi.
Sometimes, we too are broken. Whether it be from family problems, stress at school or the much appropriately named heartbreak, we all feel like a piece of pottery that has been shattered. And, as time goes by, it heals our wounds. We dust ourselves off and continue walking. And, as is our nature, we attempt to cover our scars. It's conventionally considered to be embarrassing to let other people know that you screwed up in the past. We hide all our shameful mistakes and pretend to have never done anything wrong, so that we may appear to others the way the seem to us.
Well convention is wrong. There is no need to be ashamed of your past, even if you've done shameful things. What's the use in pretending to be who you are not. Like kintsugi, we need to flaunt our imperfections, not try to cover them up. They are what make us unique, one of a kind. They are what make us beautiful. What defines us is not how we fall, but how we rise. If we rise and try to hide our scars, then we say to the world we are ashamed of who we are. But if we rise, and we can proudly say that this is who I am and this where I have come from and what I have done, then everyone knows that you are proud to be who you are and that you hide no secrets.
Yes, you may regret some things you have done, and you don't need to be proud of them. You just need to be proud that you have risen from them. A ornament cannot be repaired with kintsugi if has not been broken first. Your bad decisions have shaped you as much as you good ones have. Let the world see the real you as you shine in all your golden glory. Perfection may be lovely, but imperfections are truly beautiful.
See you all tomorrow!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
But for some reason, it doesn't work that way anymore. I came to a crossroads the other day on something that should have been a simple decision. But it wasn't. My usually, "Oh, I'll just do this" thought process didn't kick in. I couldn't just suddenly decide to do anything anymore. You see, I realized exactly what making a decision means.
I realized that I don't live in a vacuum. I'm the on the IVCF executive and their Bible study coordinator. I affect and influence the people under my leadership. I'm a writer. I affect everyone who reads every single word that I right. I'm a big brother. I influence my younger sisters. A decision today will result in ripples that would would result in effects that I have no control over.
Lemony Snicket, one of my favorite writers, said in one of his books, "He who hesitates is lost." I used to look down on hesitant, indecisive people. But now, I look at them and think, that maybe, they have a better view of the big picture. Maybe that's why they take the time to make sure what they are doing doesn't hurt someone else. We tend to take all our actions for granted. But the slightest thing could have to greatest impact on someone. Think before you act. Think hard.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Anyway, there's this particular course called Operations Research (which is rather depressing, not because it's hard, but because the lecture marks exam papers with a dagger dipped in blood, if you catch my drift) which deals with all the optimality stuff. Now, to do such and evaluation, you need all the variables. How much raw products you need to buy, how much time is takes to make your product, how long the machine can be used, etc. But there are some cases where you don't have these variables, and you just pretty much just need to wing it. And believe it or not, there are equations for winging it. You won't always get the optimal solution but you get one that's pretty close.
Everyday, we try to find ways to make the most out of life. We do everything we possibly can to get ahead. But none of us can see the future and it can become depressing sometimes when you find yourself without the necessary variables to figure out what the next best move should be, and you feel like giving up. But in cases like that, you need to wing it. You may not make the absolutely best choice, but your efforts would inevitably something rewarding. So trust try and push forward no matter how obscure the future may be. Some may call it blind faith, but if you can see something, then it doesn't take any faith to believe in it.
Good luck to all my friends who are studying for finals and I hope to see you tomorrow!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
We all live within someone's sphere of influence, and there are people who live within you sphere of influence. Hence you are an influence on someone, and someone is an influence on you. If society is credited with influencing and encouraging actions and behavior in people, does that mean the we are society? Now, all of us would want to shy away from that definition, since society is rarely credited with doing anything good. And we all know that why try to influence the people around us to do good. Surely, 'them' is someone else.
People also like to say that the society is the majority. Whatever the most people say is society's view. And it makes sense right? But then the question becomes, do we really know what the majority thinks? We all have a very narrow view of the world and none of us can say that we truly have the big picture. Take homosexuality for an example (I don't know why I chose that. It just kinda came to me.) Someone who supports homosexuality would say the society suppresses homosexuality. And they would be right in way, seeing as how there are laws that prevent gay marriage and homosexuality is generally looked down upon as being immoral. But someone who is against homosexuality would say the society encourages homosexuality. And they would also be right seeing as how there a gay pride marches, and every media outlet from TV shows to comic books all have gay characters that are portrayed as normal and persons who are against it are generally portrayed as being mean spirited. So unless society is schizophrenic, it obvious that one side has to wrong, when obviously they aren't.
So what is society? Well this is what I think. I honestly think that... the word 'society' is like the word 'boogeyman'. It's not a real or definite thing. Just like the boogeyman represents the fear of a child, society represents everything that is deemed evil or wrong in the collective human persona. We take all our fears and wraths, and chalk it up to 'society'.
Now, like I said, I have a very narrow view of the world, and I maybe wrong, and I'm sure there's a "scientifically correct" definition of what society is. But I just wanted us think about this enigma just a little bit.
See you tomorrow.
Monday, December 6, 2010
But I guess such is life. You plan, you prepare and you make sure everything is just right so that you can make that image you have in your head come to life and make a bright future for yourself. And then something happens out of the blue. You get a phone call about a friend that changes your life. The university you were planning to go to goes bankrupt. Your family gets into a car accident and all the money that was supposed to pay for your college tuition goes to paying the insurance or something crappy like that. Then what are you supposed to do?
The answer is simple: Keep doing it. There's a line in The Sound of Music which is fairly popular. It goes"When God closes a door, He opens up a window." A bend in the road is the not the end of the road. There is always something else you can do, some other path to take. Nothing is never completely ruined, unless of course you're dead. It may not work out the way you expect it, must the most wonderful things in life rarely do.
That being said, I have no idea how to apply this to my exam incident, expect for it making me want to study everything.
See you tomorrow!! (maybe!)
Friday, December 3, 2010
I'm not really a big fan of The Sound of Music, and even though I love most of the songs, I find it frankly annoying the amount of time people play them. But really, who doesn't like The Sound of Music (except for Hitler and the Nazis)? It one of the greatest movies of all time...OF ALL TIME!!...errmm sorry about that...channeled a little bit of Kanye there for a second. Studying is sending me crazy!!
Anyway, the The Sound of Music is based on a book written by the real Maria Von Trapp on her experiences in Austria. I would imagine that actually experiencing the events of the movie would be a lot less happy and a lot more scary than portrayed. She may not have thought it to be the wonderful things we think about today when we hear about The Sound of Music. But as I saw today on Oprah, the movie inspired people to do everything from inspiring one woman to become a nun to helping a partially deaf girl to find her true potential.
So even though you make think that you may be going through crap right now, thing of this: If one woman could survive being chased by Nazis with seven children and her husband in tow, and make it into a story so wonderful that it inspires everyone in the world, then you situation is probably not as bad as it seems. Who knows? It may inspire someone to become a nun...in the best sort of way.
Back to studying now...see you guys tomorrow!!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Now I get why the parents are mad. Teens are bombarded by sexuality everyday and being at the age where they now begin to explore this aspect of life and are hence, very impressionable. I probably wouldn't want my child reading a book about sex either. But you see, that's just the thing. If the sex scene was written with a specific idea in mind, other that to stimulate sexual desires, then is it really a sex scene? I wrote the greater part of my novel this November, with one of the main characters as a lesbian. As such there are at least three scenes where two girls kiss. Why did I include those scenes? Because I know that that kinda stuff turns guys on? No. I wrote it because it's extremely hard to write a lesbian couple without them kissing. Heck, it's hard to write any couple without them kissing. Am I attempting to write a novel to promote lesbianism among young girls? No! That's why my other main character is a devout Christian who pushes the opposite point of view. My aim was to try to find a balance between the two sides, not promote homosexuality or encourage pornographic thoughts. I sit now and wonder if I were to publish my book, what would people say about it?
Now I'm not encouraging to reading of sexually explicit books. There are some books that are written with the intention of being dirty and erotic. Those obviously shouldn't be read. But when someone includes something that's potentially erotic without actually making it erotic, I really don't think that people should go all crazy about it. Now I know that there's a thin line between the two, and that there will always be a justifiable reason for using sex in books, but can you honestly say that you can't tell the difference? And just so you know, I read Romeo and Juliet in Form 5 (fifth year of high school, where I would have been around 16), and let me tell you, that is one of the most sexually explicit books that I've ever read, with Juliet being 13 years old during the course of the story. Yet no one really thinks about either of these things. Why? Because this story wasn't about sex. It was about a tragic death of two lovers. No one gets off to Romeo and Juliet.
Now, I am just one guy who has a very narrow view of the world and needless to say, I'm not always right.I'm not supporting pornography. It's wrong, perverted, demoralizing to the people who engage in it and give unrealistic and incorrect views about what love and sex is. But when sexuality stops being about arousal and starts being about something serious, I think that we should take a step back and re-evaluate. I've even found websites that claim that the biblical book of the Songs of Solomon pornographic because of some of it's content. Yes, they called the Bible pornographic. Somehow, I highly doubt that God's inspired word was meant to arouse immoral thoughts, nor does it.
They say you can't judge a book by its cover. I'll go a step further and say that you can't judge a book by the words printed on its pages either. You need to judge a book by what it means, and at then end, I'm sure that make the right choice.
See you tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A couple hours later, Cassie and Seth were standing at the north entrance of the cinema, waiting for Megan to arrive. “She said meet her here at 5. It’s 5:30.” Seth said, looking at his watch for the umpteenth time.
“She’s probably dressing. It’s a girl thing. We’re practically never on time.”
“You’re a girl and you’re here early.”
“That’s because I had to take you here. And besides, I’m not your garden variety girl.”
Seth shrugged. “Well I guess you do have point.”
They were silent for a couple minutes, observing people as the bustled in and out of the building. “Seth,” Cassie said, breaking the silence. “Megan isn’t quite your garden variety girl either. I mean, she’s straight and all, but she’s…how can I say this…sorta…”
“Special? Different? Strange?”
“I was going to say creepy, but yeah, those words work pretty well too in this case.”
Seth smiled. “I noticed. She has a special air about her.”
“She may say things that may seem out of place. She’s known for that. So if she does, just ignore her. I’m pretty sure that she means it for the best, but sometimes she lets that crazy imagination of hers go wild and her mind comes up with all these crazy things. I mean, a little imagination is good and all, but Megan takes that rule and stretches it to the extreme.”
Seth stared off into the city’s skyline for a while, and then said quietly. “You’re nervous about me meeting Megan aren’t you Cassie?”
“What?” Cassie asked. “What would make you say that?”
“Because you usually ramble when you’re nervous. And you were rambling just now.” He turned and looked into her eyes. “Are you embarrassed the let your friends meet me?”
“What? No, I not embarrassed.” Cassie said quickly, seeing a hint of hurt in his eyes. “It’s just that…that…”
“You’ve never really had Christian friend for a while and you’re afraid that I’m going to say something to one of you’re non-Christian friends that’s going to make them think just exactly what side you’re on anymore if I’m hanging out with you. Am I right?”
“Wha- How did you know all that? Who told you?”
“No one. I just guessed.” Seth cracked a smile. “I’m pretty good at reading people Cassie. Despite the fact that we’re no longer enemies, I only see you during class. You’ve never introduced me to any one else. I kinda know what a signal like that means.” He looked away to the skyline again. “Don’t worry Cassie. I won’t tell Megan anything awkward.”
“Hey, I don’t mean to insult you or anything. I’ve seen you talk to other non-Christians. I just don’t want anything to happen that would send things out of control.” She looked up at him. “This is as settled as its ever been between us.”
Seth turned back to her and was about to say something, but just then he was interrupted by a loud shout. “Cassie! Seth! Glad you guys could make it.” Walking towards them was Megan with two guys flanking her on each side, who from the obvious resemblance, were her brothers. As soon Megan had called out to Cassie and Seth, they broke away from her and went off in another directions, on to do things of their own. “See what I mean when I said that they’d abandon me?” Megan asked as she watched them leave. “They didn’t even have the courtesy to leave me at the door.” She turned back to face them. “So you guys been waiting long? Sorry I’m late. I had to get dressed. So what do you think? Like my outfit?” she asked making a pose. Her ‘outfit’ consisted of a tight black top and a pair of skinny jeans with holes ripped in the knees.
“We’re going to see a movie Megan, not a Nickelback concert.”
“People dress like this at Nickelback concerts?” She asked, looking as if she were honestly expecting an answer. “Besides, unlike you Cassie, I happen to be single. And it takes a lot more to attract guys than it does to attract girls you know.” She turned to Seth. “So what do you think? Like what you see?”
Cassie buried her face in her hands. Maybe she should have asked Megan to watch what she said to Seth. “You look good, Megan. I actually do kinda like it.” Seth replied.
“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel good are you?”
“Nope, this is 100% truth. The looks suits you.”
“Well it you think this looks good, then you should see my- hey!” Megan’s sentence had been interrupted by Cassie grabbing her arm and dragging her into the cinema. “We should probably go get tickets before they’re all sold out.” She said.
See ya tomorrow!!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
'What's writer's drain?' you may ask. Well it's kind of the opposite of writer's block. Instead of wanting to write and nothing finding anything to write about, you have something to write about, but you don't feel like writing. And the reason why you've probably never heard about it is because I just made up the name.
I guess my current bout of writer's drain stems from the fact that NaNoWriMo is done. I have successfully written 50,000 words in one month. However, 19,000 of those words were written between Friday at around 7pm to Monday at about 1pm. Looking back, I have absoultely no idea how I did it. I just knew that there was something to be done and I did it. And let me tell you this, it was hard work. Anyone who ever thought that writers have a easy job because they get to sit at a computer and write stories all day are completely wrong. I have never done something more physically and mentally draining in my life. But I persevered and I did it.
And now, I'm drained. I had at least two ideas for this post that I started typing and then deleted because I just didn't feel like writing them. I was kinda scared at first that I had used up all my writing ability. So I did what I always do when I can't write: I just type the first thing that comes to my mind, ergo this post. And I realize now what writer's drain is.
It's probably as simple to cure writer's drain as it is to cure writer's block. With writer's block, you write anything as much as you could. With writer's block, you write nothing. So I guess I'll take a break from writing for a while. Yes, I'll still have a post up tomorrow, but it'll be a novel excerpt, probably my last one for a while. I think just a day off would help a lot, and then I'd be back and better than ever.
See ya tomorrow!!
Monday, November 29, 2010
As of 1:15 pm today I became the author of 50060 words. I am not finished with my novel, but I'm going to stop writing for now and study for finals.
And oh yes, I do wish to make a speech.
I hate you. You came along when I was doing just fine and beguiled me with a promise of glitz and glory. You said that writing a novel in a month would be the most wonderful thing ever. You lied. There is nothing wonderful about having to stay up until 6 a.m. (stay up, not wake up) so that you could make up your word count because you're so drastically behind. You pulled me away from my important engineering classes and exams to entice me with some childhood fantasy about being a writer. While all my other friends were playing the latest video games and Facebook apps, I was writing. While they were watching and talking about all the latest TV shows, I was writing. When they were reading all the latest manga...you guessed it. I was writing. You took away from my social life so that I'd have time to write. You made my friends question my priorities and ask whether or not I had 'nothing to do' if I had time to write 50000 words.You angered me, depressed me and frustrated me in what was already a hectic month of my life. And for what? So that I could end up with a half finished, crappy story with horrible spelling and a sorry excuse for English. A story whose synopsis is so controversial that I can't even tell some people what it's about. A story that no one is ever going to read and even if they do, they're never going to like it. You NaNoWriMo. You wasted my time. And I hate you for that.
But NaNoWriMo, I think that I love you. You came along when my life had fallen into a boring routine and spiced it up with excitement. You said that writing a novel in a month would be the most wonderful thing ever. You were right. You showed me that if I really wanted to do something that I could stay up till 6am or however long and do it. You pulled me away from the stress of being an engineering sophomore and showed me that no matter what career path I chose, I would always be a writer at heart and that is what really mattered. While my friends were wasting time on other things, you showed me just how much could be done in all that time that I wasted on frivolous things that would always be there waiting for me. You enhanced my social life by allowing me to make friends with people not only across the Caribbean but around the world. You made my friends look on in awe and wonder as I struggled to overcome obstacles and as I won victories. You taught me perseverance, loyalty and you comforted me in what was the most hectic month of my life. And for what. So that at the end I could have 50060 words of a story that would have otherwise never been told. A story with characters that seem so real as they try to navigate their complex lives, that they literally jump off the page and whisper with their own voices in my ear. A story whose synopsis is controversial, but one that needed to be told, so that I can have the opportunity one day tell the whole world. A story that at least one person in the world would read and love and be affected deeply by it, even if that person is me. You NaNoWriMo. You made me a better person. And I love you for that.
(Yes, I did manage to beat LaniLani. She was great competition though!!)
(P.S. I did in fact cry while I was writing this. I'm that much of a wuss :P. It could also be the fact that a share a name with the person that the Bible calls the 'weeping prophet')
See you guys tomorrow!!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Monkey Belt ( pronounced mŭngki bɛlt) is an activity which entails several individuals who remove their belts and shout "MONKEY BELT" before proceeding to beat the crap out of an unsuspecting victim. Ok...so the victim isn't actually unsuspecting and they don't actually beat them. They just make it look like they do. Confused? You should be. Here's a video of an actual occurrence of monkey belt. Now before you watch this video, let me assure that no matter how harsh or brutal it may seem, no one was actually ever hurt. The guy who was being beaten (who actually happens to be one of my best friends) got up off of the ground right after laughing and high five'ing the other guys. We never forced anyone to participate in monkey belt who didn't want to. This was all scripted and planned out before and never once was the guy actually kicked or hit with a belt. However, you can't bear to watch an innocent boy been beaten while his girlfriend sit with one of his attackers and just watches, then you probably shouldn't watch this video.
Now to all my readers who are not Hillview students (or SAGHS (St. Augustine Girls High School because they are just as twisted as we are...maybe even more) who are thinking "OH MY GOD!! THEY JUST BEAT THE GUY!!", calm down. Like I said, no one was actually hurt.
"BUT THEY THREW HIM ON THE GROUND AND HIT HIM WITH A SHOE!!"
Yes, they did, but it didn't hurt because he still laughs about it till today. Or maybe it did hurt and he just laughs to hide the pain....no seriously, all it was cool.
"WELL HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! IT WASN'T YOU BEING BEATEN!!"
Actually, I did participate in a monkey belt where I was the victim, and I could tell you from experience that you have to keep yourself from laughing all the way through. My video didn't make it to YouTube though. It was deemed to racist. We had no problem using the word 'Nigger' but we drew the line at uploading videos that displayed black people being beaten by people of lighter complexion.
So there you have it. No real moral (no moral at all!!) to this story. Just another installment of my twisted days at Hillview College. See you tomorrow!!
Oh, I almost forgot: someone once told me that my Hillview posts may disturb some of my international readers and others who don't understand them. So tell me readers, are you disturbed?
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Like really really really hate them. I know that they are an important piece of machinery and that if they didn't exist we wouldn't have all the wonderful architecture and buildings that we have today, but that does nothing to quell the burning anger boils in me and the bitter taste that coats my tongue ever time I see one of these cursed pieces of machinery. Why do you ask? Why do I hate excavators so much? Is it because they made noise that kept me up at night? Is it because they caused a horrible accident that killed a puppy? Is it because one of them hit my wife and killed our unborn child? (though I must admit if something like that had actually happened, I would hate excavators a lot more than I do now.)
No, it was because I had to build one. And if you think that that is no reason for someone to hate excavators, then you have obviously never tried to build one. Not until you struggle with and 18 equation matrix from which you must calculate the bore size of you hydraulics or try to calculate the mass eccentricity of your vibrating plate compactor or make up a giant table on things that could possibly go wrong with your excavator then you would begin to understand my sheer loathing for this device.
But enough about that. The project has come and gone and has taken a great deal of the last two weeks with it. I haven't been able to write my NaNoWriMo ( I am currently about 7000 words behind schedule) or post on my blog. It was so intense one day that I had to get someone else to do my Bible Study! Again...enough about that. It is time to move on with my life. I have so many things to look forward to!! Like...finals. *sigh* Life can be so depressing sometimes.
Yeah, I have finals in just about a week and I am definitely not as prepared for it as I should be. So I'm going to try to finish up all my NaNoWriMo stuff and get right on that. Since I've been away for so long, I'm going to try to post during finals. Yes, I know it's very risky, but I'll just have to make shorter posts.
But at least for now and the forseeable future, I am back to posting daily. I want to thank you guys for not abandoning me and you can look forward to more awesome posts in the future. I love you all and I'll see you tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Now, this is one cool dude. He was the main guy that supported me when I was starting this blog. He even helped me with choosing the name for it and posting links and stuff to garner support. When I went on a retreat and couldn't post my daily link he did that for me. If you go back to to very first posts, you'd see that he commented on them to get me started. Aside from his help with my blog, he's a pretty awesome guy. He's one of the five us who went on epic Japs runs, during which we would point and laugh at the most retarded of things. Shanu is one of those people you can talk crap with for hours and not get bored. He's definitely one of my closest friends in the world.
But we'd didn't always used to be friends. In fact, at on time, we were worst enemies. I remember in Form 2 (my second year of high school for those of you who have a different schooling system), I hated this guy's guts. Seriously, I did. When I first started high school, I was picked on a lot for one reason or another, and Shanu and his friends were major participants in that. Now physically, if I stand next to Shanu, I am a great deal taller than he is, but back then, he was the one that was more intimidating. I remember having a Ericcson flip phone (yes just Ericcson, not Sony Ericcson. This was prior to the buy over :p). I wasn't supposed to keep in my schoolbag, but I couldn't check it in like I was supposed to so I kept it. Shanu and one of his friends found out about this somehow,snuck into my bag and a Crazy Glued the flip to the keypad. When I tried to open it later....well, let's just say that you should never crazy glue your phone shut. Shanu and the other guy got found out, and they apologized and the other guy had to pay to get my phone fixed, but yeah I hated him real bad.
And then suddenly I didn't. I don't remember exactly when it happened. All I know is that one they I wished he'd die, and the next, we were hanging out. I seem to vaguely remember it starting in Form 5 (fifth year of high school) but that's all. I used to think that I'd never want to be friends with this guy, and now, I can't imagine how life would be if I wasn't.
So you see that person who you really really hate. Don't give up and being friends with them. Don't ever say or do something that could really hurt them. Yes, you may be saying "Jeremiah, you have no idea how much I hate this person!!", but that's exactly the way I felt about Shanu. You never know what the future has for you guys. You could go from worst enemies to best friends. And you'd wonder why the hell you hated them in the first place.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
One of the people I really admire, posted a small blog the other day. This is basically what it said: To stop living in the way society tells you to live and start living the way you want to live. Forget what everyone tells you to do. Break the rules and ignore the consequences. Stop coloring inside the lines. It's your life. Live it the way you want to.
And that got me thinking: is that really freedom? It sure sounds like it. But is it really?
What if you liked the way society did things. What if you cared about the consequences? What it you liked coloring in the lines because you saw that the lines existed for a reason? What if you wanted to follow the rules? Does that mean that you're not free?
Well, the way I see it, it doesn't. Freedom isn't recklessly living life. That's wild abandon. Sure it may be fun, and who knows, you may even get by living like that in certain circumstances, but that doesn't mean that your free. You could be doing all this because not because you want to, but because you think that it's what makes you free. You'd be kept in bondage by the worst person to keep you there: yourself. There are people who live by the book all their lives and die old and happy, with no regrets. And there are those who live wildly with so called freedom and die young, some even committing suicide, trying to find a way out.
So what then is freedom? Well, there simplest explanation I've ever heard come from a movie: The Matrix Revolutions. Remember that seen near the end where Agent Smith was moping the floor with Neo and Neo kept getting up even though he knew he'd just get his butt whooped again? Agent Smith got mad and started screaming at him
Why, Mr. Anderson, why, why? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Could it be for love?
Neo then answered calmly: Because I choose to.
That's freedom my friends. It's not doing something or not doing something. There is no one thing, no one action, no one lifestyle that can define freedom. Freedom come from choice. It doesn't come from coloring inside the lines or outside. It comes from having the choice to do either.People tell me that since I'm a Christian and I don't do certain things that they do, that I am not free, kept in bondage by some god. But I just laugh when they say that because I know that I am far more free than they'll ever be. Freedom isn't me doing all the crazy things that I want to do. Freedom is knowing that I can do every single one of those crazy things and choosing not to. To me, I'm have freedom in Christ. From where I stand, all those other people are in bondage, slaves to their own desires.
I'm not saying that you saying that obeying the rules brings freedom. If being crazy makes you free, then by all means, keep being free. Keep yourself happy and live your life to the fullest. Just make sure that the reason why you're doing it is because it's what you deliberately choose to do. That's the only way you'd ever be free. So if you want, go ahead and walk on the sidewalk. Wait for the light to change before you cross the street. Go to school, listen to mainstream music and obey the rules. As long as it's what you choose to do, then you'll be as free as then evening breeze and the mountain stream. Lift your head high and hum your favorite tune as you watch the shackles that bind you fall away.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Leave comment or something tell me what you think was going on.
P.S. I know that this idea is going to be a total disaster and fail horribly, but I just felt like I had to make a post. See you tomorrow, hopefully.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I also realized that I missed Wednesday's post, which was supposed to be a novel excerpt and I decided to give one here instead. This is supposedly the a pivotal scene in my novel, and I wanted to know what you guys think about it. Now, this is only Seth's point of view and it's not even the whole thing, because that would be too long. Maybe I'd post up the rest of it next week. Please gimme some feedback either here or on the Facbook page. I'd greatly appreciate it.
They walked again in silence until Emily said “That’s the sorority where I stay.”
A wave of relief swept over Seth, happy that the disastrous journey was over and that he could now go sulk in a corner and chastise himself. “Oh crap.” Emily said, her voice suddenly grave. For a horrifying instant, Seth wondered if he had just said what he was thinking out loud. His blood turned to ice in his veins and he turned to face her. But Emily was looking past him to the sorority yard. He turned to see a girl picking up random scattered objects on the lawn. He didn’t see what was so shocking about that. “Someone threw all of Cassie’s stuff out.” She said.
Seth’s thawing blood refroze. “Did you just say Cassie?”
“Yeah, Cassie. She’s one of the girls staying in the sorority. Apparently she’s a lesbian and she hit on one of the other girls. I guess that’s why they threw her stuff out.” Emily shook her head. “Sorority drama. Well, bye Seth. See you next week.”
Seth managed to crack a smile and replied. “Yeah, next week Emily.” She turned and walked up to the sorority door, carefully going around Cassie, making sure that she didn’t get anywhere near to her. Seth stood there for a second, staring at Cassie as she angrily stomped around the yard picking her things up. He would have merely shaken his head and walked off, but then he saw something that cemented him to the spot. As Cassie turned in his direction, he got a good look at her face. Her eyes were blood red and large tears streamed down her cheeks. Memories hit him like a ton of bricks. Memories of a young boy crying as he gather that contents of his school bag that had been scattered all over the playing field while enduring that stinging taunts and laughter of the ones who put them there. He shook his head, trying to stop the memory from replaying in his head. Why was he thinking of that now? This was different right? The promise didn’t cover this, did it? But the longer he stood there and watched her, he became more convinced that it did. Slowly, his legs began to move in the direction of the sorority lawn. “No!” a small part of his mind screamed. “Think about what you are doing!” But his feet wouldn’t listen. They walked him straight through the gate and up to Cassie’s things. He was close enough to hear her small sobs, which nearly overwhelmed him with the potent memory in his mind. The rest of his body followed the rebellion. His waist bent over and his had reached down to a shining object in the grass. It was a golden picture frame with a picture of Cassie and another brunette girl, who he had seen her with sometimes. He straightened himself up and looked at her. She still hadn’t seen him yet, too busy with gathering his things. A bubble formed in his chest, travelled up his throat and came through his lips. “Here” He said, holding out the picture in his hand.
Oh, and by the way, I started a word war with one of my fellow carinanos!! Her username is LaniLani. You could check out status here.
Yes, I am currently winning...I think..