On Being Crazy

I can say with a great deal of confidence that I am not you average normal guy. I do consider myself to be somewhat eccentric. My mother is a first hand witness of this, often chiding me when I was younger (and sometimes she still does) for walking around the yard while having somewhat audible conversations with myself. What I was actually doing was thinking up and narrating stories to myself, have of which I end up deciding are far too disturbing to ever be written down. I unusally introverted and tend to say to most inappropriate things which lead to some very awkward situations. To top it all of, I came across this quote during NaNoWriMo

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia - E.L. Doctorow

I guess that this only adds to my idea that I am in fact, as the old people say, "off my rockers".

Now, when I say that I'm crazy, I don't mean that I'm crazy with some sort of mental illness. Mental illnesses are a sad and serious affair. No, I mean crazy in a social sort of way. People often tell me that I should change now, or risk never being able to interact with normal people. But, it makes me wonder, just exactly how many people consider themselves 'normal'? What exactly is the standard for normal. If everyone is born different and unique, then how could there be a standard for normal?

You see the truth is, everyone is a little crazy, even those people who think that they aren't. Ever since we were able to make social connections, we tend to find people that we have things in common with and befriend them. We replicate this all through out our lives, and it is from this that we judge what's normal or not. To if we are honest with ourselves, we've never met anyone who is exactly like us. Sure, we may have a lot in common with somebody, but we're never exact. And as such, as long as we are ourselves, we'll always be less that normal, which is a good thing. Being 'normal' mean copying someone. When you're crazy, at least you and everyone else in the world knows that you're being yourself.

“Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.”
-Graycie Harmon

See you tomorrow!!

2011?

With the new year quickly approaching, people all over the world are trying to find out exactly what is in store for them, and as a result, there are several psychics, prophets and the like coming out of the woodwork, attempting to see into the future and give predictions. Looking around, I found everything from a prediction that an earthquake is going to severally damage California, to the prediction of the Third World War. Needless to say, I don't expect any of these to come true. And even if they do, they are way to wide on non-specific to be actual predictions. There is enormous political tension between countries all over the world that could explode at any time, and there is a massive fault line running through California. People have been attempting to do this for years, failing miserably and rejoicing at the closest hit they get.

Now I get why people would be apprehensive about their future. Who wouldn't want to know what problems they're going to run into along the way, how to avoid them, what exactly is coming on that extremely hard exam, and exactly where and when to be so that you could catch that 'particular' person's attention. But what about along the other things? What about those days when you feel as if it's the worst day of your life, and suddenly something wonderful happens? Would you really want to ruin every happy surprise you have for the year? And what about those problems that turn out to be blessings in disguise? Would you want to avoid those?

Personally, I wouldn't want a cheat sheet for the next year of my life. I want to dive in and enjoy the pain and the joy equally. I want to embrace my surprises and face my problems with a grin. They are what make me a better person (e.g. NaNoWriMo). I don't need to know what happens in 2011. That's pretty much up to God. I can try to point my life in the direction that I want it to go, but if things don't work out the way I want, I won't be overly worried. Life is meant to be lived to its fullest, and that's what I intend to do.

See you tomorrow!!

Deep Regret

I have wanted to write this particular post since I was in middle of my crazy excavator building project. I had all but forgotten about until I randomly came across a Owl City video on YouTube. Now, a little while back, right before NaNoWriMo about how I love this particular group's music. You can read that here if you wish. But during NaNoWriMo, a fellow Owl City fan gave me a link to Adam Young's personal blog. There, I saw a completely different side of my favorite artist. It wasn't one of those media gimmick blogs where someone else pretends to be the artist and writes stuff. Nor was it one of those blogs that seemed to be started just so that people could subscribe to it and make the artist popular. It was real.

Here, he didn't talk about tour stuff or try to promote his group. He talked about his childhood antics, his adult problems and all his little problems and inconsistencies, even randomly funny posts that had no real plot. He wrote his blog almost the same way I would, just because he wanted to write. I usually don't go fan crazy over any band, because sooner or later the person behind the music comes out with some kind of celebrity drama and you find that they're completely different from who thought. But here was Adam Young, a shy Minnesota boy, barring his soul for the world to see.

The post that convinced me that this was the real Adam, and not some underpaid ghost writer, was a post entitled, "Deep Regret". In it, he describes his theory of "Deep Regret" as the feel that you get when an extremely beautiful girl passes you by and you are far too nervous and/or stunned to do anything. The moment passes and the girl leaves and you are left, forever wondering or thinking about what could have been. And to reinforce the idea, he gave an example of an occasion while on tour when this exact thing happened to him. Every celebrity I've ever heard of like to talk about how easy it is to get with girls and how popular they are with the ladies, never about how nervous or tongue tied they get around them. The words he used, made me for a second forget that he was a famous musician. It was almost as if I had stumbled across a fellow blogger. He didn't describe the girl as a object of sexual desire, avoiding such words as 'sexy' or 'hot'. He was respectful, painting a picture of a beautiful person. After reading it, I felt as if I understood him and what he was talking about. I felt as if I had connected with him somehow, for someone who I have never met.

The other thing that made me fall even more in love with his blog was the fact that he wasn't ashamed to share his faith. Being an extremely popular artists with number one hits all around the world did not make him feel the need to hide what he believed. In a post named "My Hope Is Found", he talks about Christianity explicitly, not in a way as to shove religion down someone's throat, but calmly and gently, almost as if he were talking to himself. He even covered an old Christian hymn, and posted it there.

I never thought I'd say this about a celebrity, but I want to be like Adam Young. I want to reach for the stars but never move my feet off the ground. I want to be able to be the biggest and best there is and still retain the ability to relate to everyday people. And I never want to be ashamed of what I believe. I wonder that if more artists were like him, if the entire yellow journalism debacle that Hollywood breeds would affect our lives a lot less and bring some positives instead of the folly we see daily. Keep at it Adam. You've made a fan out of me.

See you tomorrow!!

Mainstream?

I only recently started expanding my range of music into different genres. I particularly like listening to adult contemporary, alternative rock as well as a variety of contemporary Christian artists. I've listened to a couple others and liked them pretty well too, but those three are probably my favorites. However, I've been accused by a lot of people to listening to mainstream music, especially when it comes to listening to alternative rock.

Mainstream music, according to Wikipedia, " denotes music that is familiar and unthreatening to the masses". Now, at first glance, to me, this doesn't look like something bad. We love to familiar and you really can't enjoy a piece of music if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But many see mainstream as a bad thing. Mainstream is what the media feeds the masses and what everyone eats up without thinking about it. Music written with four chords, music that can be played with no real skill and lyrics written with the intention of making money.To counter this, most people turn to subcultures. Punk rock, underground hip hop, heavy metal and the like. Anything else is considered the accursed "mainstream" reserved for people who have crappy tastes in music.

But really, why does mainstream have such a bad name. Sure, it may not take as much skill to play an alternative song as it does to one of another more complex genre, but does that really make the song any better? If I were the best cook in the world, and I skillfully made a really crappy dish, would it be any better that a simple cook, who used regular ingredients and methods to make something that was actually worth eating? Just because something isn't hard to do, doesn't make the end product any less valuable. And then there's the issue of lyrics, and I must agree, some lyrics are repeated over and over again. But let's be honest, if we sing about the same things over and over, we're going to run out of ways to say it. Of course there are always other ways to say things, but being a writer I understand that sometimes the idea is lost in convoluted words. Sometimes the best words are the simplest.

As for the artists that write and sing music just for the money, you'll know who those are. Art is an expression of the soul. While I'd admit some of the more popular music is written just for profit, not all are. If you can feel the artist in their music then they're obviously not doing it for monetary gain.

There are many other reasons why people may pick one kind of music or the other, the likes of which can make a debate that I could write forever about and never resolve. I'm saying that subcultured music is bad. People have all kinds of tastes, and if that is what you like then by all means, listen to it. But don't write of 'mainstream' music as being crappy. You just may miss some really beautiful songs when you aren't looking.

See you tomorrow!

Dreamworld

I just finished watching the original Tron movie for the first time, and I must say that it was a pretty darn good movie. I've always loved the idea of being digitized and entering a game world ever since the days of Jonny Quest. I particularity like the idea of a religion based on the 'Users'. Despite the age and graphical capabilities available to the movie producers at the time, they did a superb job of creating an entirely new world and bringing it to life.

The idea that a world besides our own always captivated me. Whether it be something as simple a storybook kingdom or something as life-altering as religion, I've also like the idea that somewhere, somehow, there are other people, maybe like us or not at all like us, that think and dream and imagine, just like we do.

Life isn't for dreamers, or so we've been told again and again. Dreamers have no place in the real world, where things don't work out ideally. Make-believe doesn't pay the bills and and dreams don't put food on the table. And that is quite right. If all you do is sit around and imagine, you'll never be able to accomplish anything. The people who change the world, are those who actually got up and did things. Action drives the world forward.

But using this logic, people think that they should altogether abandon dreams. Logic and reason are the order of the day. But what few people seem to understand is that true change comes about from a mixture of both. Action with out dreams is like a gun that you can't aim. Dreams without actions is like aiming without a gun. Only a fusion of the two and truly bring forth great things.

Never forget your dreams, no matter how impossible or childish they may seem. No matter what people may say about it, every single dream is invaluable. Hold on to it, until it is fulfilled. Who knows? Maybe you'll be able to turn it into box office hit one day.

See you tomorrow!!

Merry Christmas!

Hey guys!! I know a lot of you are spending time with your families and so am I, so I will make this short. This is one day in the year, set aside for sheer joy and happiness, regardless of religious belief. So enjoy it eveyone!! And look forward to the new year that is approaching and all the wonderful things that it is going to bring!!! I love you all.

See you tomorrow!!

Aeria Gloris

I've spent a lot of my vacation so far watching this anime called "Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex." It's about cyber-terrorism in the future and all that jazz. It's pretty good, and if you're into anime, I recommend that you watch it.

The thing that I wanted to talk about though isn't the show itself, but it's opening sequence. The opening song is called "Inner Universe" by Origa, which is a pretty haunting song by any measure. As it plays, a video montage of clips is shown. One clip shows a doll in the hand of a little girl. The girl's hand quivers and suddenly squeezes and crushes the doll. It breaks into pieces and falls to the ground. The scene switches and it's revealed that was a dream by the shows main character. The next clip features the same character taking on an armed tank-like weapon. You can watch it here to have better understanding.



I'm pretty sure that you have no clue what I just spoke about, and to be honest, I didn't understand it myself the first time I saw it. But as I watched the show, I came to understand what it meant. The main character had lost her limbs in a childhood accident, and was forced to replace them with robotic prosthetics. However, being young and unable to control them, she broke and destroyed several things, including her favorite doll. As she grew older, she learnt to use them more efficiently to the point where she became a virtuoso.

You always here people saying that you'll never achieve great things if we don't take great risks. And we do take great risks. But somethings, they don't work out, and we end up ruining the things that are precious to us. We come to fear our own power and decide never to dare try something like that again. But if we never try, we'll never get better. We'll never see the extent of our power and what we're capable of. Sometimes we crash and burn and vow never to drive again. But if we dare to push forward, we'd learn that we could not only drive, but we can soar.

See you tomorrow!!

The Christmas Spirit

Like I said in one of my earlier posts, I hate the idea of engaging in or acknowledging Christmas as long as I have school work that needs to be done. And even with my finals finishing last week, I still hadn't gotten around to doing anything worth being called 'Christmassy'. So tonight, I flipped on the TV and decided to watch one of those Christmas movies. It's called "Unaccompanied Minors" I think. I didn't really care much for the storyline or acting. It had all the silliness that you would expect with a Christmas movie. And I made me feel happy. You know, the kind of happiness that come with ham, and Christmas carols and the ever present big red guy. Yeah, you know the happiness that they call the Christmas spirit.

People attribute this special spirit to various things. Some say that it's the magic that comes from the holiday itself, the stuff that gives birth to elves and flying reindeer. Some say that it the joy that come with knowing that this was the time that God sent His Son to earth to save us (despite this being scripturally incorrect). Some say that it's the indigestion that comes from eating an abundance of Christmas food. Whatever it is, we've all felt it at sometime or the other. Unless of course you have green fur and live in a cave on a snowflake. And for everyone who didn't get that reference, you need to watch more Christmas movies.

But what is this magical Christmas time. Well I think the answer to that is less magical than one would assume, at the same time a great more magical. We all feel the need to happy at Christmas time. Ever since we were children, our parents and those around us foster the excitement that comes with this time of year. From the various Christmas parties we attended to waking up Christmas morning to open parents, it has been taught to us from a young age to look forward to this time of the year.

And why shouldn't we? All year we've been struggling along the roller coaster that life is. It's relief that at least once for the year, at the very end to just relax and give it all up. No matter what we are going through at the time, we can't help but feel happy. We've made it through another year, and we have a next one to look forward to. It's like the life of a phoenix. We burst into flames of joy at Christmas time to be reborn to face a new year. It's the fact that we have something to look forward to, and something to look back on the makes us happy. And imagine everyone in the world, feeling the exact same way. It's the fact that almost all of humanity, even if it's just for a few days, can unite in happiness. Old pains are forgotten and new bonds are forged. Everyone is joined by an invisible thread that binds us in this join. And that is the Christmas spirit. Not some supernatural force, but unity that no world leader could ever hope to achieve. And that in itself is a supernatural force. Enjoy the season everyone. You deserve it.

See you all tomorrow. And Merry Christmas!!!

Potential

I got up this morning at 5:30 am (something that is complete unheard of during vacation) and went jogging with my dad. The jogging at the park was cool, and there were only couple people there when we arrived. I stumbled out of the car, bleary eyed, think about exactly why I was not home in bed. My dad was complete opposite, being totally energized and ready to go at such an ungodly hour in the morning.

Now, for those of you who know me in real life, you'd know that I'm not the fittest guy in the world. I don't jog very much, or undertake any type of extensive exercise. Still, I was able to walk around the 1 mile track 3 times. Pretty good for an out of shape guy, right? My dad on the other hand, a fifty something year old guy, managed to make 5 laps in that time, not just jogging, but running. Upstaged by an old guy. Just peachy.

I was about ready to give up by the end of my third lap. My dad handed me the car keys and said that he was going to make another lap. By this time, other people we coming to the track. Not wanting to look like a total noob sitting in the car while everyone else was exercising, I decided to make another lap, just to take up time. I walked for a minute or two and then stopped. Off in the distance, I could see my dad round the bend in the track. Then a crazy idea flew into my head: I wonder if I could catch up to him? Yes, me, the guy was a ready to give up two seconds ago, decided that he was going to run. And so I did.

At first, nothing happened. My muscles were sufficiently warmed up from walking so the muscles in my legs didn't start screaming as I thought they would. In fact, it felt kind of good. I jogging at a significant pace, making good time. I was on top of the world. This happy, joyous feeling lasted all of 50 seconds. The first thing that went was my chest. The muscles started tightening, making breathing a little harder. Then my abs started aching. At this time, a little voice in my head started wondering exactly why again it was that I was doing this. Then the lungs started to ache. Breathing became extremely difficult, coming in and going out in painful short, sharp gasps. I could hear my pulse thudding in my ears. I could feel my calf muscles begin to burn. The voice in my head was no screaming for me to stop. I looked up and I saw my dad, nearer than I thought he would be. "I could do this." I told myself. I could reach him. I drew what reserve strength I had, and ran up to meet him.

By then, he probably had realized that his crazy out of shape son was charging to towards him, making sounds that feel somewhere between and steam engine and an angry bull. He slowed down and began walking so that I could matching his pace. I slowed down, blowing hard. I felt like throwing up. "That was pretty good," he told me, "considering the fact that I had started off running before you did." I looked back, and I kinds shocked myself. I had manged to run a third of the track, without stopping. I felt sort of proud, seeing as how the closes thing I had come to exercise in while was writing a novel. I f someone had told me that I would be able to run that far, I would have told them that they were crazy. But here I was, proving myself wrong.

As we walked back to the car, I noticed a guy with a walking stick and a large belt around his waist. He walked slowly and awkwardly, but was dressed in a complete jogger's outfit. "He come here every morning," my dad said as I looked at him. "He's injured, but every day, he manages to make at least three laps." I thought about that, and wondered if people who knew him told him he was crazy when he first decided to go jogging. I'm pretty sure even he had his doubts about whether or not he could have done it. Heck, if I had an injury like that, I'd probably use it as an excuse never to leave the house. . But here, this guy was actually doing it.

I guess that if I hadn't decided to start running or that guy hadn't decided to go to the jogging track regularly, neither of us would have known what we were capable of. Inside each and every one of us is the ability to do unbelievably great things. But if we never try to do them, we'd never know that we could do them. We all have some hidden potential. So think about that one thing you know you can't do, and then go do it. You'd be surprised at just how much you can achieve.

See you tomorrow!!!

Signs of The Times

The street I grew up on and currently reside isn't in the easiest of neighborhoods. In fact, it can be quite dangerous for someone who doesn't live there. A street where drive-bys happen as often as the ice-cream truck passes by (sometimes the ice-cream truck may be used to do the drive-by) and marijuana is on everyone's grocery list isn't one where you could put up your idyllic picket fence.

Needless to say, as kids, my sisters and I didn't get out a lot. Sure we talked to the neighbors and played with their kids, but our parents would never let us go over to their houses, and I always thought that to be strange. Now I know why. And I'm glad they did that. The people on this street are some kind of weird. We usually stay out of everyone business and they stay out of ours. And plus, the people you grow up with and lived next to all your life really don't have it out for you.

Yesterday, when my dad was running an errand for my mom, a bunch of the neighbors kids, the oldest probably being not even five years old, accosted him with a bazillion questions. My dad's a friendly guy, so he took his time and answered them. Among the questions were "Where are you mother and father?"
"Well," my dad replied, "They're both dead." Now if you expected the kids to ask, something like "Really?" or "How did they die?" or "When did they die?" or something like that, you'd be thinking the exact same thing that I was. And you, like me would be wrong. The first thing these kids asked was, "Who killed them?" Even my dad was a taken aback by that one.

But I guess that should have been expected, right? These kids grow up in world were people die violently and suddenly, where arguments begin simply and grow to a crescendo and that could end in a gunshot or stabbing. It's not that these kids have been grown up badly. It's just what they know. And that made me realize something. That what may seem to be normal to us today, won't be normal tomorrow. We like to think that humanity deep down is noble, and that we'd always do the right thing, but that's not true. Our morals slide everyday and we move further and further away from what we deem to be right. Our children and their children would probably be doing things that horrify us, all because they think what they're doing is right. I guess that is the legacy that humanity leaves behind. That is the sign of the times.

Broken

Hey guys! First off, all my finals got jammed together so I didn't get to post yesterday. But now that's all over, which means daily posts again!!! YAY!!!! Now onto today's post.

I really really like Japanese stuff. Their music, their anime, their technology, amongst other things. The other day, I came across a video about the Japanese art of kintsugi or "golden joinery" when translated into English. Kintsugi is the art of using lacquer made of precious metals, primarily gold, to repair broken pottery and ceramics. Most mending prectices attempt to cover up the cracks in the broken pottery, but kintsugi does the opposite. It flaunts them. The broken object is joined together so skillfully by that you can barely see how barely it was broken. All that can be seen is the beauty of the gold seems racing through it, as if Zeus of myth had hurled a golden lightening bolt through it. In fact it is so beautiful that some Japanese art collectors have been accused of purposefully breaking priceless ceramics to have them repaired with kintsugi.

Sometimes, we too are broken. Whether it be from family problems, stress at school or the much appropriately named heartbreak, we all feel like a piece of pottery that has been shattered. And, as time goes by, it heals our wounds. We dust ourselves off and continue walking. And, as is our nature, we attempt to cover our scars. It's conventionally considered to be embarrassing to let other people know that you screwed up in the past. We hide all our shameful mistakes and pretend to have never done anything wrong, so that we may appear to others the way the seem to us.

Well convention is wrong. There is no need to be ashamed of your past, even if you've done shameful things. What's the use in pretending to be who you are not. Like kintsugi, we need to flaunt our imperfections, not try to cover them up. They are what make us unique, one of a kind. They are what make us beautiful. What defines us is not how we fall, but how we rise. If we rise and try to hide our scars, then we say to the world we are ashamed of who we are. But if we rise, and we can proudly say that this is who I am and this where I have come from and what I have done, then everyone knows that you are proud to be who you are and that you hide no secrets.

Yes, you may regret some things you have done, and you don't need to be proud of them. You just need to be proud that you have risen from them. A ornament cannot be repaired with kintsugi if has not been broken first. Your bad decisions have shaped you as much as you good ones have. Let the world see the real you as you shine in all your golden glory. Perfection may be lovely, but imperfections are truly beautiful.


See you all tomorrow!

Decisions

I'm usually not an indecisive person. When it comes to making a choice, I flip it over in my mind a couple of times, and then choose which ever one seems best. Probably if something comes along later to change my mind, I'll consider it. But I usually take no longer than a minute to decide. Sometimes it's served me well, sometimes it hasn't.

But for some reason, it doesn't work that way anymore. I came to a crossroads the other day on something that should have been a simple decision. But it wasn't. My usually, "Oh, I'll just do this" thought process didn't kick in. I couldn't just suddenly decide to do anything anymore. You see, I realized exactly what making a decision means.

I realized that I don't live in a vacuum. I'm the on the IVCF executive and their Bible study coordinator. I affect and influence the people under my leadership. I'm a writer. I affect everyone who reads every single word that I right. I'm a big brother. I influence my younger sisters. A decision today will result in ripples that would would result in effects that I have no control over.

Lemony Snicket, one of my favorite writers, said in one of his books, "He who hesitates is lost." I used to look down on hesitant, indecisive people. But now, I look at them and think, that maybe, they have a better view of the big picture. Maybe that's why they take the time to make sure what they are doing doesn't hurt someone else. We tend to take all our actions for granted. But the slightest thing could have to greatest impact on someone. Think before you act. Think hard.

Optimality

One of the primary objectives of an industrial engineer is achieving optimality. You need to learn how to observe that job at hand and what is around you and find the best way to do it with maximum profit and minimum waste. I know it sounds rather simple and cliche, but when you find yourself stuck in the middle of a simplex table and you have no clue what's going on, you tend to realize that it is neither.

Anyway, there's this particular course called Operations Research (which is rather depressing, not because it's hard, but because the lecture marks exam papers with a dagger dipped in blood, if you catch my drift) which deals with all the optimality stuff. Now, to do such and evaluation, you need all the variables. How much raw products you need to buy, how much time is takes to make your product, how long the machine can be used, etc. But there are some cases where you don't have these variables, and you just pretty much just need to wing it. And believe it or not, there are equations for winging it. You won't always get the optimal solution but you get one that's pretty close.

Everyday, we try to find ways to make the most out of life. We do everything we possibly can to get ahead. But none of us can see the future and it can become depressing sometimes when you find yourself without the necessary variables to figure out what the next best move should be, and you feel like giving up. But in cases like that, you need to wing it. You may not make the absolutely best choice, but your efforts would inevitably something rewarding. So trust try and push forward no matter how obscure the future may be. Some may call it blind faith, but if you can see something, then it doesn't take any faith to believe in it.

Good luck to all my friends who are studying for finals and I hope to see you tomorrow!

Society?

A couple of days ago, one of my friends posted and interesting question on her status. These days, we blame everything on society. Society encourages this, society encourages that. The question is, who is society? Who is this 'them' that we keep blaming for everything?

We all live within someone's sphere of influence, and there are people who live within you sphere of influence. Hence you are an influence on someone, and someone is an influence on you. If society is credited with influencing and encouraging actions and behavior in people, does that mean the we are society? Now, all of us would want to shy away from that definition, since society is rarely credited with doing anything good. And we all know that why try to influence the people around us to do good. Surely, 'them' is someone else.

People also like to say that the society is the majority. Whatever the most people say is society's view. And it makes sense right? But then the question becomes, do we really know what the majority thinks? We all have a very narrow view of the world and none of us can say that we truly have the big picture. Take homosexuality for an example (I don't know why I chose that. It just kinda came to me.) Someone who supports homosexuality would say the society suppresses homosexuality. And they would be right in way, seeing as how there are laws that prevent gay marriage and homosexuality is generally looked down upon as being immoral. But someone who is against homosexuality would say the society encourages homosexuality. And they would also be right seeing as how there a gay pride marches, and every media outlet from TV shows to comic books all have gay characters that are portrayed as normal and persons who are against it are generally portrayed as being mean spirited. So unless society is schizophrenic, it obvious that one side has to wrong, when obviously they aren't.

So what is society? Well this is what I think. I honestly think that... the word 'society' is like the word 'boogeyman'. It's not a real or definite thing. Just like the boogeyman represents the fear of a child, society represents everything that is deemed evil or wrong in the collective human persona. We take all our fears and wraths, and chalk it up to 'society'.

Now, like I said, I have a very narrow view of the world, and I maybe wrong, and I'm sure there's a "scientifically correct" definition of what society is. But I just wanted us think about this enigma just a little bit.

See you tomorrow.

Never Saw It Coming

You know those times when you study really hard for an exam, and there's this one topic you focus on and you study it really really hard so that you know it back and front and upside down? And then when you open the exam paper...it's not there? Yeah, that's what happened to me today. (Seriously Dr. King. Would it have killed you to bring an error budget question?). Anyhow, I managed to get through the rest of the paper. I'm probably not getting the A that I was hoping for, but at least I won't have to do the course over.

But I guess such is life. You plan, you prepare and you make sure everything is just right so that you can make that image you have in your head come to life and make a bright future for yourself. And then something happens out of the blue. You get a phone call about a friend that changes your life. The university you were planning to go to goes bankrupt. Your family gets into a car accident and all the money that was supposed to pay for your college tuition goes to paying the insurance or something crappy like that. Then what are you supposed to do?

The answer is simple: Keep doing it. There's a line in The Sound of Music which is fairly popular. It goes"When God closes a door, He opens up a window." A bend in the road is the not the end of the road. There is always something else you can do, some other path to take. Nothing is never completely ruined, unless of course you're dead. It may not work out the way you expect it, must the most wonderful things in life rarely do.

That being said, I have no idea how to apply this to my exam incident, expect for it making me want to study everything.

See you tomorrow!! (maybe!)

The Sound Of Music

You know that thing that happens every exam? Yeah, that thing where to whole world conspires against you and no matter how you try to concentrate it throws something incredibly interesting at you? Like the fact that Oprah managed to gather the entire cast of The Sound of Music together for the first time since their movie premiere? Luckily I was able to pull away before I got caught up in the whole thing.

I'm not really a big fan of The Sound of Music, and even though I love most of the songs, I find it frankly annoying the amount of time people play them. But really, who doesn't like The Sound of Music (except for Hitler and the Nazis)? It one of the greatest movies of all time...OF ALL TIME!!...errmm sorry about that...channeled a little bit of Kanye there for a second. Studying is sending me crazy!!

Anyway, the The Sound of Music is based on a book written by the real Maria Von Trapp on her experiences in Austria. I would imagine that actually experiencing the events of the movie would be a lot less happy and a lot more scary than portrayed. She may not have thought it to be the wonderful things we think about today when we hear about The Sound of Music. But as I saw today on Oprah, the movie inspired people to do everything from inspiring one woman to become a nun to helping a partially deaf girl to find her true potential.

So even though you make think that you may be going through crap right now, thing of this: If one woman could survive being chased by Nazis with seven children and her husband in tow, and make it into a story so wonderful that it inspires everyone in the world, then you situation is probably not as bad as it seems. Who knows? It may inspire someone to become a nun...in the best sort of way.

Back to studying now...see you guys tomorrow!!

Pornography?

John Green is young adult writer who partnered with the NaNoWriMo to write a pep talk for all the participants. He's also a popular vlogger on YouTube. Today, I was looking him up on Wikipedia and I came across a rather interesting(?) article. Apparently a school wanted to use one of his books Looking for Alaska in their 11th grade English class (16-18 year olds). Now the book apparently contains a sex scene so the teachers issued a letter asking parents if they would allow their children to read the book and if not, an alternative book would be provided for them. Apparently some of the parents got up in arms about it and decided that no one should read the book since, 'it would incite immoral thoughts and actions' . John posted a video on his YouTube channel stating that he wrote the sex scene 'awkward, unfun, disastrous and wholly unerotic' with the intention of making a point that physical interaction cannot replace true emotional bonds and that when young adults engage in such activity that it usually ends in disaster. Eventually the book was placed on the curriculum.

Now I get why the parents are mad. Teens are bombarded by sexuality everyday and being at the age where they now begin to explore this aspect of life and are hence, very impressionable. I probably wouldn't want my child reading a book about sex either. But you see, that's just the thing. If the sex scene was written with a specific idea in mind, other that to stimulate sexual desires, then is it really a sex scene? I wrote the greater part of my novel this November, with one of the main characters as a lesbian. As such there are at least three scenes where two girls kiss. Why did I include those scenes? Because I know that that kinda stuff turns guys on? No. I wrote it because it's extremely hard to write a lesbian couple without them kissing. Heck, it's hard to write any couple without them kissing. Am I attempting to write a novel to promote lesbianism among young girls? No! That's why my other main character is a devout Christian who pushes the opposite point of view. My aim was to try to find a balance between the two sides, not promote homosexuality or encourage pornographic thoughts. I sit now and wonder if I were to publish my book, what would people say about it?

Now I'm not encouraging to reading of sexually explicit books. There are some books that are written with the intention of being dirty and erotic. Those obviously shouldn't be read. But when someone includes something that's potentially erotic without actually making it erotic, I really don't think that people should go all crazy about it. Now I know that there's a thin line between the two, and that there will always be a justifiable reason for using sex in books, but can you honestly say that you can't tell the difference? And just so you know, I read Romeo and Juliet in Form 5 (fifth year of high school, where I would have been around 16), and let me tell you, that is one of the most sexually explicit books that I've ever read, with Juliet being 13 years old during the course of the story. Yet no one really thinks about either of these things. Why? Because this story wasn't about sex. It was about a tragic death of two lovers. No one gets off to Romeo and Juliet.

Now, I am just one guy who has a very narrow view of the world and needless to say, I'm not always right.I'm not supporting pornography. It's wrong, perverted, demoralizing to the people who engage in it and give unrealistic and incorrect views about what love and sex is. But when sexuality stops being about arousal and starts being about something serious, I think that we should take a step back and re-evaluate. I've even found websites that claim that the biblical book of the Songs of Solomon pornographic because of some of it's content. Yes, they called the Bible pornographic. Somehow, I highly doubt that God's inspired word was meant to arouse immoral thoughts, nor does it.

They say you can't judge a book by its cover. I'll go a step further and say that you can't judge a book by the words printed on its pages either. You need to judge a book by what it means, and at then end, I'm sure that make the right choice.

See you tomorrow.

Final Excerpt

So I found out the other day that since I won NaNoWriMo, I'll have the opportunity to get free copy of my book, the way it would look if it were to be published (paperback yo!). So I have between now and June 2011 to finish it and do some revision. Sweet!! Here's an excerpt that I posted on my NaNoWriMo profile. It's right when Seth and Cassie are becoming good friends.

A couple hours later, Cassie and Seth were standing at the north entrance of the cinema, waiting for Megan to arrive. “She said meet her here at 5. It’s 5:30.” Seth said, looking at his watch for the umpteenth time.
“She’s probably dressing. It’s a girl thing. We’re practically never on time.”
“You’re a girl and you’re here early.”
“That’s because I had to take you here. And besides, I’m not your garden variety girl.”
Seth shrugged. “Well I guess you do have point.”
They were silent for a couple minutes, observing people as the bustled in and out of the building. “Seth,” Cassie said, breaking the silence. “Megan isn’t quite your garden variety girl either. I mean, she’s straight and all, but she’s…how can I say this…sorta…”
“Special? Different? Strange?”
“I was going to say creepy, but yeah, those words work pretty well too in this case.”
Seth smiled. “I noticed. She has a special air about her.”
“She may say things that may seem out of place. She’s known for that. So if she does, just ignore her. I’m pretty sure that she means it for the best, but sometimes she lets that crazy imagination of hers go wild and her mind comes up with all these crazy things. I mean, a little imagination is good and all, but Megan takes that rule and stretches it to the extreme.”
Seth stared off into the city’s skyline for a while, and then said quietly. “You’re nervous about me meeting Megan aren’t you Cassie?”
“What?” Cassie asked. “What would make you say that?”
“Because you usually ramble when you’re nervous. And you were rambling just now.” He turned and looked into her eyes. “Are you embarrassed the let your friends meet me?”
“What? No, I not embarrassed.” Cassie said quickly, seeing a hint of hurt in his eyes. “It’s just that…that…”
“You’ve never really had Christian friend for a while and you’re afraid that I’m going to say something to one of you’re non-Christian friends that’s going to make them think just exactly what side you’re on anymore if I’m hanging out with you. Am I right?”
“Wha- How did you know all that? Who told you?”
“No one. I just guessed.” Seth cracked a smile. “I’m pretty good at reading people Cassie. Despite the fact that we’re no longer enemies, I only see you during class. You’ve never introduced me to any one else. I kinda know what a signal like that means.” He looked away to the skyline again. “Don’t worry Cassie. I won’t tell Megan anything awkward.”
“Hey, I don’t mean to insult you or anything. I’ve seen you talk to other non-Christians. I just don’t want anything to happen that would send things out of control.” She looked up at him. “This is as settled as its ever been between us.”


Seth turned back to her and was about to say something, but just then he was interrupted by a loud shout. “Cassie! Seth! Glad you guys could make it.” Walking towards them was Megan with two guys flanking her on each side, who from the obvious resemblance, were her brothers. As soon Megan had called out to Cassie and Seth, they broke away from her and went off in another directions, on to do things of their own. “See what I mean when I said that they’d abandon me?” Megan asked as she watched them leave. “They didn’t even have the courtesy to leave me at the door.” She turned back to face them. “So you guys been waiting long? Sorry I’m late. I had to get dressed. So what do you think? Like my outfit?” she asked making a pose. Her ‘outfit’ consisted of a tight black top and a pair of skinny jeans with holes ripped in the knees.
“We’re going to see a movie Megan, not a Nickelback concert.”
“People dress like this at Nickelback concerts?” She asked, looking as if she were honestly expecting an answer. “Besides, unlike you Cassie, I happen to be single. And it takes a lot more to attract guys than it does to attract girls you know.” She turned to Seth. “So what do you think? Like what you see?”
Cassie buried her face in her hands. Maybe she should have asked Megan to watch what she said to Seth. “You look good, Megan. I actually do kinda like it.” Seth replied.
“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel good are you?”
“Nope, this is 100% truth. The looks suits you.”
“Well it you think this looks good, then you should see my- hey!” Megan’s sentence had been interrupted by Cassie grabbing her arm and dragging her into the cinema. “We should probably go get tickets before they’re all sold out.” She said.

See ya tomorrow!!