My Life Has Changed

As you would know if you read my post on Friday, you'd know that I was on a retreat (yes, a retreat, not a camp. But in my defense, we use the words interchangeably in local vernacular) over the weekend. It was hosted by the IVCF organization of which I am a member. I've been to several Christian retreats over many years, and I pretty much enjoy them all. It's a pretty wonderful thing when you are surrounded by people who have the same passions as you. I've always come away changed from these retreats. But this on was different. This one really changed me. Not like "Oh-wow-that's-great" changed me, but more like "Grabbed-me-off-of-my-current-path-and-pointed-me-in-a-completely-different-direction" changed me.

It came yesterday afternoon, while were having a session on homosexuality. A group of doctors were field questions from an audience of students, about any and everything that they could think of. Just when they were about to leave, the camp coordinator said there was a girl who wanted to share her testimony. For those of you who don't know what a testimony means in Christian circles, it's basically a story of something God did for you in the past. I've heard more testimonies than I could remember, and some of them were pretty good. I assumed that this was just going to just like any other one of those. I assumed wrong.

The girl, named Anna Lisa, began talking about her life and how she herself was a lesbian for a time, and how she left that life behind her. As her story unfolded, it shocked me. At first I wanted to cover my ears and stop listening. I didn't need to hear this. It was too...too...gosh, I don't even have a word to describe it. The sheer horror and sadness that laced every word was almost too much to bare. And yet she said all of this with a completely straight face, almost as if she were telling us of a dream she had before. I can't even find it in myself to type what she said. to tell you the degree of it. However, since her testimony changed my life, it would be selfish of me to not share it with you. If you wish, you can read it here, as written by her. As you read it, imagine sitting mere inches from her while she talks about it.

By the time she was almost through, I was crying. I kept crying after we were done, and the session was over. I tried to wash up and talk to her afterwards, but about a sentence into the conversation, I started blubbering like a baby again. She was sweet and kind and completely normal, so much so that if someone else had told me that those things happened to her, I probably wouldn't have believed them. She gave me some information on where she went when she was searching for an escape, so that I could share it with others, and then she gave me a hug. And through all this, she was humble enough to remind me that she didn't do anything, that it was all the love of God.

Why did I cry so much, you may ask. Was it because her story was sad? Yes, it was sad, but that's not why. Was is because she's no longer a lesbian? While one may believe that that was the focus of the testimony, it wasn't and it wasn't why I cried either. I cried because of where I saw her today. Even with all the darkness and horror that she passed through, she came out on top. She fought and struggled, and won a battle that I didn't believe was winnable. I've always believed that God could do anything, but listening to her speak, was like watching a miracle unfold. I've always wondered if there was a sign that could prove that there was caring, loving God, and now I've seen it. It wasn't some elaborate miracle, or a beautiful powerful piece of writing. It was a girl brave enough to recite a her life story before a crowd of strangers. God really does work in mysterious ways.

See you tomorrow.

PS: When I started this blog, I made myself a promise, that this would not be a "Christian blog" but a "blog written by a Christian." It has come to the point however, where I need to write some exclusively Christian stuff. So instead of altering this blog, I'm going to start an new one, specifically for Christan stuff. I'll add the link for it soon. This blog will still keep going and I'll still update it everyday (or as soon as I can). I'll update the Christian blog less often, probably bi-monthly. There'll be more info when I'm done making it.