Freedom

I feel like my hard drive. I know, it's a really weird thing to say, but it's a close as an approximation to any as I could come by. I am filled with stuff that is slowing me down. School was normal. I was happy to learn new stuff. Happy that this year had less mathematical course than the previous one. Happy that I was in industrial engineering and that I didn't have to do that horrid Strengths of Materials course, with that horrid if-you-have-the-wrong-answer-you-lose-all-of-your-marks lecturer. Life was good. And then everything suddenly exploded. No longer did I have time to lounge around and download TV shows or read manga. I used to be up to date with the latest episodes of my favorite episodes. Now I have no idea what the last episode was about or what number it was. School has pushed it's self into first place and grown to fill all the space available for it.

I really miss having my own time. I miss playing those dumb Facebook apps like Castle Age and Nightclub City. A complete waste of time, but fun as hell. Especially when you have an entire 'guild' playing with you. I miss all my half read mangas. I have no clue what's so special at Rei's house in Code: Breaker or how Tomu would outwit an entire school while playing billiards in Gamble Fish. I don't even watch TV anymore.

I really need freedom. I need to do something else besides school work. All these dreary white pages covered in scribbled numbers and letters feel like weights tied to my soul. Tugging me down to depths of despair. I need an escape. So I log on to Facebook to pass some of the time. Big mistake. I end up spending an hour or more looking through nostalgia inducing pictures or the albums of some funny group, or playing that same apps that I'm trying to avoid. So I figure I need to listen to some music. So I Google some classical music and some Enya. Perfect study music. But Googling music inevitably leads to one specific website: YouTube. Possibly the most most addictive website in the world (especially when Kimmi has a new video up. And she does!! That's seven minutes of my evening wasted. At least I'd be prepared for zombie apocalypse if it happens).

So just when I'm considering trying to listen to my mp3 player while working, a thought hits me: I didn't do a blog for today. I mentally groan. I begin to think that I may need to stop doing the blog, seeing as how much work I have to do. But then I think that I rarely ever finish what I start and seeing that how my blog is my most successful project ever, I should continue. So I figured that I'd tell everyone just how busy I'm with with school, possibly so if I stop blogging in the near future they'll at least know why. I named the post "Bogged Down" and started listing all the things that I have to do. And then, as I typed out what was keeping me down, I felt as if I was taking it off my shoulders and placing it on the screen. I felt free. I realized then that my blog wasn't another chore to be done, or was an unnecessary activity. It was the solace I was looking for. And it didn't even take that long.

No matter how hard things get, I'm never going to stop blogging. Because it's my escape. It's my freedom.